Year : 2015 | Volume : 3 | Issue : 1 | Page : 1 - 1  

The p value Doctor- Plight of every Epidemiologist

The p value Doctor- Plight of every Epidemiologist


I went for a walk, with a data in stock

I scanned through my variables, are they all available

I said to myself, is the data distribution homogeneous

Alas if it was not, would I been labelled as statistically heinous.


Tests of significance do they really matter

Is any output not available on computer, yelled my grey matter

Survival analysis and ROC curve made me thaw in winter

As I tried to explore them, helter-skelter.


Directly and indirectly I standardised myself

ANOVA, MANOVA, ANCOVA, repeat measures danced with thyself

What will the probability value be I asked in vain?

I deciphered another indispensable p value, and cried in pain.


Nominal, ordinal, interval, ratio scales I measured

Z, t, Chi-square test all I humbly treasured

Linear and logistic regression were arguing among themselves horrendously

I leaned on the analysis table ironically and gullibly.


Can I predict the dependent variable rightly with equation?

Alpha, delta, theta; Can I really rely on your suggestion?

Can I satiate the agony of many contemptuous PG students who will ask me,

To manipulate the p value overnight?

Clinically correlating statisticians are a rare commodity,

In any medical college they are out of sight.


As author how much statistical knowledge should I possess?

As reviewer how should I accept how much to digress?

As editor how much to keep how much to omit?

As humane which statistics is integral and which to reincarnate?


As I ask myself I leave it to numbers whom I adore, respect, regard, cherish and commit

Addressed as a “p value doctor” I feel no shame, am proud, prestigious, and preeminent.



Dr. Sagar Borkar

Associate Professor of Community Medicine

KVG Medical College Sullia DK 574327 Karnataka



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